You can't motorboat a personality
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
