walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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