Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
