Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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