Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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