So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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