im having a threesome with these popsicles
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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