She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
