It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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