Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
