we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
