i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
