would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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