Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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