North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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