I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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