Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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