are you so shy because you have an std?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
