Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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