I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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