I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
