People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
