It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
