so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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