So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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