i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize