It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
