I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize