Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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