Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
