I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
