i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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