I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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