Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
