JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
