U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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