zippers are such a cool invention
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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