You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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