its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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