After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
