Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
