Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
