i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
