Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
