people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
