you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
