I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
