I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
