I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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