Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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