You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
