We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
