When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
