i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your cock deserves a montage
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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