im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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