mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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