508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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