oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize