I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
