Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
