So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
