Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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