You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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